As I was browsing around Tumblr I came across http://b0otayx3.tumblr.com/. I saw her post about her daddy(grandpa) and it reminded me so much of when my Papa was in the Intensive care unit. I went through more post to see if there was a story behind it and then saw a video and watched it. I sat here for a good 15min crying and thinking about how hard it was to see a loved one like that. My grandpa had a really bad heart problem and it just ate him away. I couldn’t believe how he could go from walking and having the biggest smile on his face to looking so helpless and in so much pain. It killed me every second that I couldn’t do anything to stop the pain. My parents wouldn’t let me in the room when he got transfered to ICU because they said “Right now Papa isn’t doing so well..” I had to sit in the waiting room for hours to just see my Papa to give him hugs and kisses. I was so sick of waiting and couldn’t handle not knowing what’s going on. So my parents let me in. My mommy told me that he’s not in the greatest shape and it would take some time for the swelling to go down. I wanted to hold back every tear but to see him laying there not even having the strength to open his eyes brought me to my knees. My heart sank and for a moment I turned my back on God…I couldn’t believe what was going on or how he could do such a thing. I walked beside my Papa and whispered in his ear “Be strong Papa you’ll get through this” as I talked to him I could feel all his strength and will to open his eyes..and finally they opened. I talked to him and never let go of his hand. I would ask him to squeeze my hand so I know he hears me. Sometimes he would squeeze really really hard and I could see the smile in his eyes. I didn’t want to leave his side until he was fully recovered. Days went by and his health was going up and down. Then one day he made a HUGE turn around and was released from ICU and put in a recovery room. He still couldn’t talk and had a lot of machines around him but his swelling went down and he had a lot more strength. Everyday was a challenge and for me it was eventually time for me to apologize to God and thank him for bringing such amazing people into our lives that have so much faith in my Papa and prayed for him. Also thank God for healing m Papa and giving him strength. Weeks went by and my Papa finally got off most of his machines and started physical therapy to help him eat, walk, and talk. We stood by him through all of it and motivated him that he could do it. The last day at the hospital the doctors pulled us to the side and told us “Your grandfather is a miracle patient, he really told the boss he wasn’t ready to go”. At home I would always keep my Papa company and one night he pulled my family into the room one by one. I was last and he told me “I seen the light..But I know it isn’t my time to go yet. I still need to see you graduate, get married, and see my great great grand children”. My Papa is a soldier. Whatever life threw at him he took it like a champ and got through all of it. Now my Papa is walking, talking, eating like a pig, and cracking his crazy jokes EVEN TRAVELING! He lives his life to the fullest and pushes the struggle and pain aside, I look up to him as my hero because of that. I love you Papa<3
Don’t ever loose faith in God. He would never put you through something you can’t handle. I learned through his eyes and my Papas eyes that love,faith,&hope is the greatest power. God is good! (:
besides the fact that Cheyne was over chillin with my family, but then I just started BITCHING and what not. I’m stressed out as fuck. School, work, my “friends” that I pretty much no longer have. I let a lot of shit get to me, and all I really ask from you is to listen. But it’s like every word…
I think it’s finally time for a girl to stick up for this shit, I feel the same babygirl. It’s hard to juggle everything but you know in the end I’m still here always will be. Steven doesn’t understand probably just like Cheyne. They don’t realize sometimes we just need a “FRONT”. Listen to us bitch complain and cry and comfort us even if you got something to say. They should just bite there tongue and become good liars when it comes to us venting cause really? all Steven does is argue back or start an arguement when I’m doing my vent.
TEN things about yourself: 1. I have a black birth mark on my right knee 2. I don’t like my body 3. I hate wearing a bra when I go to sleep, is that bad? 4. I have a minor case of OCD 5. I’m absolutely ditzy, Not proud and don’t think that it’s anything near cute 6. Bi-polar runs in my family 7. Asian is the only way! 8. I only gain weight on my face and thighs 9. I have a few friends that I wouldn’t trade for the world 10. I’m in love
NINE things you want to do before you die: 1. Finish college 2. Run through a field of sunflowers 3. Travel! Cali, NYC, Japan, London, Bahamas, Okinawa, etc 4. Get married to the man of my dreams<3 6. Make a family 7. Get a dream house 8. Donate to as much charities 9. Open my own bakery
EIGHT pet peeves: 1. Bad hygeine 2. Two face 3. Liars 4. Cold hearted bastids >:[ grr 5. Snobby high maintenance girls 6. Cocky men -__- 7. When my feet get hot 8. I hate how my hair always needs to be washed and flat ironed to look nice or decent
SEVEN ways to win your heart: 1. Can’t 2. Tell 3. You or else 4. I’d have 5. To 6. Kill 7. Yaaaaaa >:]
SIX songs that mean something to you & why: 1. I knew I loved you by Savage Garden, because that’s our song<3 2. Butterfly Kisses by Bob Carsile(forgot his name), me and daddy’s song 3. Together Forever by Big Bang, the first kpop song I’ve ever heard and could listen to over and over 4. For the first time by Keali’i Reichel, that’s the song I want to be played at my wedding 5. Knock you down by Keri Hilson, because I made a dance for that whole song! 6. Stronger by Keri Hilson and Chris Brown(I think?), it makes me better.
FIVE things you wish you could say to five different people. 1. You fucked up 2. Thanks for being my new friend! :D 3. You irritate the shit out of me and I want to strangle you at times, but I can’t imagine life without you 4. Sorry is just not enough, karma is a bitch ey? 5. Babygirl = forever<3
FOUR people who have changed your life: 1. Jesse Jones 2. Steven Nguyen 3. Liana Aganos 4. Chelsea Domen
THREE things that are currently on your mind: 1. Please oh please headache go the frick away ): 2. I wonder what my brother is doing in the room with the door locked and talking on the phone with his girlfriend? EWWWWWW! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! 3. I need a job…I really need a job!
TWO things you do before you fall asleep: 1. Listen to my ipod 2. Tell everyone in the house “I love you”
So Steven and I argued today...well more like ALL FRICKIN DAY! Ugh...I never thought he would actually fight back? He put up his mean face and started swearing and yelling in the car at me. I actually smiled and cried about it...AND wanted to strangle the shit out of him all at the same time. Then we get home cool off a bit. Take his sister home and get Mikis. For some reason he has to make weird ass conversations in the car and totatlly pisses me off and irritates the shit out of me. Ignored him and gave him the cold shoulder.
Steven:What's wrong with you?
Steven:WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
Steven:Maybe I should ask "What wrong with me?"..(questioning himself)
In my head I was screaming "YES!!! YES YOU SHOULD!!!"
Steven is officially a GAMER. I love how “girlfriend&boyfriend time” is me on the laptop blogging and him playing MOD2 or Farmville. I spent 5 min trying to take a funny picture behind his back with him and his headphones killing little kids with his make believe gun. I failed due to this crappy webcam. Maybe I’ll try sometime this week to show you tumblr how our fabulous “girlfriend&boyfriend time” is :D………-__- ugh!
- Choses Farmville over me - His “cover ups” are so obvious - It has to be silent in order to fart - Acts like a 2 year old in stores - Makes me wait 5 years to get married and have kids - Always points out the obvious - Likes to ignore me, but answers after I start screaming and getting mad - Thinks I always wake up “horny”(I HATE IT) - Lectures me about me spending money - Gets frustrated when he spends to much money on me - Gets angry when I tell him I don’t want something, cause he knows I want it and will end up buying it for me - Wears ridiculously long pants then lays down on my nice white sheets - Has stinky feet >_< - Knows how to take care of his hair better then I do - Doesn’t like when I touch him when we sleep, even if he knows I can’t sleep without my skin touching his